Atavan's Journals

Chapter 8: Reality

Recap: “My dream, it was just, so… vivid. It was too real.”

Chapter 8: Reality

Ring.
Ring.

“Heh-Hello?” I stuttered into my phone.

“Hey Cay…How’s it going? I’m sorry for just barging into your life like this all of a sudden but, um, I just happen to be in New York and I’d…Oh god, what am I doing? I’m sorry, Cay, I should just–”

“No, no” I blurted out. I was appalled at my automatic response.

“What?” It seemed he was too.

“Ry, That was months ago, I’m over it. We’re ancient history.” I laughed off.

“Um…Yeah, we…are” Ryan’s voice mellowed out.

“Come over to my place, we can talk and catch up with a cup of coffee or something.” I offered.

“Cay…But I couldn’t just…”

“Yes you can, I’m inviting you over.”

“Um, okay, I guess it won’t hur–”

“Great, so it’s a date?” I interrupted.
“I guess so, Cay, why...”

“Stop! We’ll talk when you get here, do you know where I live?”

“Yeah, I do, I remember Brendon talking about it. Hey Cay?”

“Yeah Ry?”

“Thank you, I know you can’t forgive an ass like me but…”

“I have forgiven you, people make mistakes Ry, it’s part of life” I felt the awkward pause. That dreaded awkward pause.

“Yeah I guess. I’ll be there soon, bye, love yo–, oh crap, sorry, reflex.” Ryan apologized. What should I say to this? I…Ugh.

“See you soon!”

Click.

Caitlin Alexandria Wentz…You can do this.

Ding Dong.

My heart just dropped.

He’s here.

I ran to the door and stopped for a moment to collect myself. I fiddled around with my hair till I had the guts to turn the doorknob. My hands were shaking as I slowly opened the door.

“Hey Cay…” Ryan said carefully. I looked up at him, as our eyes met. I’ve missed him.

His eyes were still greenish-brown, but he had shaved off his beard, and the darkness that encircled his eyes had vanished. He looked better, older, and…better.

“Ry!” I smiled.

We settled on the couch and I passed him a cup of coffee across the coffee table.

“Nice place you got here,” He commented.

“Thanks, so…what are you doing in New York? I thought you and the guys were working on your new album, isn’t that why Brendon left back to Vegas?” I had to initiate some sort of conversation.

“Uh, yeah, we are. I just came by to see well if you’d be willing to forgive me.”
“You know I have Ry…” I looked out the window. I couldn’t relive this past.

“–And I thank you for that, but I’ve been killing myself over the things that I didn’t have the guts to tell you. Other than the simple, ‘I’m sorry’…”

“Oh…well, go on…tell me.” It was so hard to keep eye contact with him.

“I’m so sorry you had to meet an ass like me…you don’t deserve any of the crap that I threw at you. I take all the responsibility over it. You, you…I don’t know how to put this but Cay, you were the only girl that made me feel the way I did. I was just so scared that I could feel so in love with someone. I was scared that feelings like that were possible, so I tried to run away from it, because I knew I would get so hurt. I ran so far away from it that I didn’t realize, you were the only one who was getting hurt out of my idiocy…” Ryan’s voice broke.

“Ry…it’s okay…” I just wanted to run away. My eyes filled up with tears that I’ve been holding back for so long.

“No it’s not Cay! I thought that if I ran to someone else then it’d be easier to get over you, but it just made me miss you so much more…you’re the first girl I’ve ever loved.” Ryan sighed.

The tears finally bled out of my eyes. It hurt so much to hear this from him. Someone I’m suppose to hate was so impossible to hate.

“Cay, don’t cry…don’t waste your tears on me. I made a huge mistake and…”

I wiped off the tears and looked up at him. “Ry, everyone makes mistakes. It just depends on whether or not they make it up to the people they hurt.”

“I just didn’t want to lose you as a friend.”

“We are friends.” A smile broke my face.

Ryan let out a smile, that unforgettable smile. He took my hand from the coffee table and gave a reassuring look. Ryan hurried to my side and hugged me. I came closer to him and cried some more on his shirt.

“Thank you Cay.” Ryan whispered as he wiped off the tears on my face.

After a few minutes on the couch, I got up and washed my face with water. I grabbed a towel and patted the water off my face.

I came out and found Ryan on the barstool. I hurried to the fridge and grabbed an apple out. I leaned against the bar facing Ryan, face-to-face.

“So how are the guys?” I enthusiastically asked.

“They’re great, Jon found a girl, Taylor, Spence is recovering from Alyssa, and Brendon’s going out with Lia.” He smiled.

“That’s great! What about you? How’s Keltie?” I tried to sound happy.

“Keltie…we broke up a week after your incident Cay. That’s why I moved back to Vegas…” He confessed.

“Oh…so you’re single?” Concealing my feelings was so hard.

“Yes…I am. Well, what about you? Any guys?”

“None. Not since…you know…” I laughed off.

“Oh, haha.”

“Come on, let’s get some Chinese.”

After the night was coming to an end, we were standing like two idiots outside of my apartment door. A kiss, the kiss.

Ryan grabbed my hand and leaned in and I leaned in as well. We both stopped and Ryan scooped my face into his hands.

“Cay, I can’t hurt you again.” His tone was sad and lost.

“I know, and I can’t fall in love with you again… but at least come inside.” I locked my fingers in with his and dragged him to the couch. I kicked my shoes off and turned the TV on. Ryan sat next to me on the couch and put his arm around my shoulder. I placed my head on his chest and he held me close to him.

I looked up at him and he looked down. We leaned in closer.

“This is…” I trailed off.

“Ridiculous.”

The kiss woke me from my slumber. We both laughed. Our fingers locked together once more and it stayed like that the whole night.

And in the first time in months, I heard my heart beat again.

I woke to the scent of orange juice. A glass was out on the table, followed with toast. I looked around the room and it was empty.

“Ry?” I yelled out. He came out from behind and gave me a peck on the cheek.

“Good morning stranger.” He smiled.

“Hello.” I chuckled. I slowly pulled my hair back and pulled pants down to my hips.

“I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie Wor-o-orld, imagi…” My phone sang. I quickly grabbed it off the table and answered it.

“Yo” I confidently hollered into my phone.

“Cay! Hey! I’m in New York just picking up a few stuff with my girl Lia and well, I really want you to meet her!” Brendon yelled out with joy.

“Oh..you’re here…in New York…so is…uh, Ry.”

“He is? Okay, I’ll call him up and–”

“–Here with me…” I cut out Brendon.

“Well…we’ll have a double date. So when did this whole you and Ryan thing get back together?” Brendon tried to sound straight and formal.

“Well…um it just happened?”

“Oh okay well then it’s a doub-leh date? Haha…” He laughed awkwardly.

“Sure thing. Text me where and what time.”

“Yeah…”

Click.

Was that awkward or what. “Hmm.” I said as I placed my phone on the table.

“Who was it?” Ryan asked from across the room.

“Brendon” I responded dubiously. “He, uh…he said he wanted to go on a double date with us, but Ry I’m not entirely sure where we are on the whole relationship thing.” My hand motions expressed how nervous I was just talking to him about this.

“Well…I don’t know either. We’re definitely not back together right?” he posed.

“Right…” I glumly answered.

“Cay… I thought I told you…I can’t hurt you, not again.”

“But, we’re falling back into old habits and…” I was speechless. He’s being such a hypocrite and…so was I.

“I know Cay, I was wrong and…”

“Stop. We’re both being hypocrites. We said we had to stop but we can’t. Can’t we just go along with it? See where it goes? I mean the Gods have united us again and I mean…”

“…At least see what they have planned?” Ryan finished my sentence.

“Yes.” I breathed out.

“You’re right. Plus, Brendon hasn’t found a girl in forever. He was so stuck on some girl for so long he’s been missing out. We should just support him. I hope he’s not just using Lia.” Ryan carried on wiping the glasses he had just washed.

“What do you mean stuck on some girl? He’s never had any girl...wow that sounds cruel but I mean, who has he gone out with after Audrey and Britney?”

“I don’t know, he never told us, but he just said he was in love with some girl and he had to get over her because she won’t be with him, ever.”

“Oh…wonder why he didn’t tell me…” I looked down at the floor. I thought I was friends with Brendon. But, hmm…oh well. At least he’s happy with someone now…

“Brendon!” I yelled out waving my hand out of the cab. Ryan took care of the bill as I ran out to hug Brendon.

“Uh, hey…” Brendon awkwardly greeted. “What’s with the bag Ry?”

“Haha, I have to get back to Vegas. At least grab more clothes and come back.”

“You’re coming back?”

“Oh, so this is the lucky girl! Hi, pleased to meet you, I’m…” I stopped the disputing tone that Brendon was throwing at Ryan and decided to take the conversation else where.

“…Caitlin Wentz!” Lia finished my intro. “Brendon has told me so much about you, and Ryan, and oh, I love your dress!” Lia commented.

“Thanks! I got it from Marc Jacobs!” I grabbed her arm and pulled her off to our table. “Come on guys!” I called.

As Lia and I made ourselves comfortable in our seats the guys came over. I slowly observed her features, other than the fact that she was beautiful, her killer eyes could make any man fall in love with her. A green-blue colour, just like Adriana Lima’s and her long wavy brown hair was…there just weren’t any words to describe her beauty.

“Lia, I knew Brendon could pick out good ones, but, I didn’t think you’d be this great!” I complimented.

“Oh you’re just saying that! Well you’re great too Caitlin!”

We were like two girls on medication; all night long we couldn’t keep our mouths shut. The guys observed our energy and contributed a couple of sentences to our chat.

By the end of the night we were all so exhausted. I hugged both of them goodbye and told Lia to add me on ‘facebook’.

“What a night!” I sighed as Ryan and I trailed off.

“Haha, you and Lia are so alike! No wonder Brendon picked her.”

“But she on the other hand is gorgeous! And…what do you mean no wonder he picked her?”

“Well, I had a clue of who he was in love with…” Ryan put his arms around my waist as we strolled down the side walk. I took a deep breath in and turned around to face him.

“Who?”

“You, Cay. That’s why I had to especially keep away from you, but when he started going out with Lia…well that’s when I thought I should apologize to you.”

“That’s why he acted so weird around us tonight.”

“I have a feeling Cay, he’s still in love with you.” Ryan looked away from the perfect gaze we had going on.

“What do you mean? Haha don’t be silly Ry!” I felt so oblivious.

“When I kissed your cheek in there or did anything that professed my feelings for you, he did the same, but with Lia and he glared at me before doing it.

“I tried to catch him before we left, just to talk to him but he took a cab so that was too late.”

“Oh…” What could I say? I broke Brendon’s heart. Ryan pulled me closer to his chest and I played around with the button on his shirt for a while before something was said.

“Cay.”

“Hmm?” I looked up at him innocently.

“You’re…beautiful, more than Lia, and more than any girl in this world.”

“Hey…I say, you’re nice.” I smiled.

“And lucky.” He laughed. He tilted his head to kiss me and I did the same. He grabbed my cheeks and my arms were around his back.

I suddenly felt cold drops on my cheeks and Ryan pulled back. I was crying and Ryan sensed it.

“Babe…”

“Ryan, we can’t, we’re hurting so many people, well we will when we tell everyone and especially we’ll hurt each other in the end…”

“I know, we can’t kid ourselves.”

“Ryan you have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.”

“I think I do. I’ve been waiting too.”

“Ry…” I stopped myself, I felt so weak.

“Cay, maybe in a different life, in a different world, some time…later, I’ll be waiting. But not now, not here and not ev…” He hugged me tight, I knew he couldn’t say the last part. He was hurting as much as I was, maybe even more. He slowly let me go. His long fingers brushed off the tears that kept falling down my cheek.

“Ryan…I’m still in love with you.” I admitted.

“Caitlin…I’m still in love with you.” His palms departed from my cheek and he squeezed my hands. He kissed it farewell. Once he let go of me for good, we both knew, this was the end, the end.

We both took a step back, slowly trying to focus on something, or someone else, but it was impossible. We turned around and walked away. I tried so hard not to look back. I pulled my cardigan close to me as my arms folded tightly.

The tears kept coming and I had no choice but to accept it. I looked back one last time just to see where he was. His arms were up on his face while he slowly glided through the sidewalk. It pained me so much to see him walk away like that.

Half of me wanted to yell out his name but the other half was so broken that I couldn’t even peep a sound.

The throbbing pain was back and the hand that knotted and twisted my heart was back to stay.

I wiped my tears away and hurried my way home. I had to get away from here. My eyes dried as I breathed in and out so heavily. I tried to fill my throat with a burning sensation that would numb the shattered feelings that were thrown at me all at once. The twisted angel of hell came back to haunt my dreams and kill me softly.

When I opened the doors, a whiff of his scent fell through me. My eyes started to water, and I slammed the doors shut. I carefully made my way to the couch grabbing the skin that hid my heart. I felt like ripping out my heart so then I’d feel nothing because it would feel so much better.

My heart fell and fell. Beat to beat. Slow then fast, fast then slow. I just wanted it to stop. I didn’t know what to do. My emotions were uncontrollable. I felt furious, hurt, and lost. I hated that feeling.

Ryan hurt me, I hurt Brendon, I hurt Ryan and he hurt me. How could this have gone so out of hand? He’s always been…I had to stop. I can’t kill myself over it.

I lied on the couch for hours. Thinking, how I’ll make it out…at the very least, alive.

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heyy sorry this took forever, school is a killer! well please comment on what you think!

and ideas for the next chapter! i promise to post sooner!

hey guys i'm thinking of restarting the fanfic, like make it better in the earlier chapters and condense it and add new chapters to make the story easier and fun to understand. or i might just bind all these chapters together and make a booklet and send it to people who want (ofcourse with charge) but i don't think mines good enough. please leave ideas.

xoxo

Chapter 7: Vivid

Recap: “I love you,” I said under my breath.

Chapter 7: Dreams

The bell rang in the school halls.

What? School? I graduated…

Students came bustling out of their classes. Palo Verde? What am I doing here? It’s been years. I fell to the floor as a mysterious, yet familiar girl pushed me out of her way.

“Caitlin, Caitlin!” Ryan pushed aside the herd of people while chasing after the girl, Caitlin.

As Ryan caught a hold of her, he grabbed her and kissed her, the worst part, she kissed back. A smile crossed each of their faces.

No, no, no. They broke it off. They broke it off!!!!!

“No!” I yelled at them.

They pulled back and Caitlin passed a seductive, sexual look towards Ryan.

“Ryan, thanks for last night, it was just what I had craved.” Caitlin thanked.

“Anytime…babe. ”

Ryan pulled her body towards him, and they both leaned in for a kiss.

“No!” I woke up. The scene at Palo Verde melted away and the apartment room came to view. I wiped the sweat off my face. I breathed in and out heavily. My worst nightmare.

“Brendon, Brendon! Are you okay??” Caitlin ran to my side.

“You, you, you. Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.” I panted out.

“What?!” Caitlin sounded worried.

“Ryan, he, and you”

“Brendon that was a month ago.” Caitlin turned her head away and stood back up. “Besides, I’m sort of over it.”

“No, no, no, but…” I hesitated.

“Brendon, please stop. I’ll be okay, I’m sure of it.” Caitlin turned back and flashed a smile. She kneeled back down and wiped my face with her cold fingers.

“I’m sorry.” I looked down at my hands, my hands were shaking intensely. Why couldn’t I get over it? They’re done. Done. But it doesn’t seem like it. There’s unfinished business, or so it seemed.

“What’s wrong though, why are you…like this?”

“My dream, it was just, so… vivid. It was too real.” I started to calm down.

“Well, just forget about it. Come on, I’m watching ‘Sabrina’, I’ve got caramel popcorn and it’d be nice if I had some company.”

“Uh, yeah sure,” I pushed the blanket to the side and made my way out the door, following the silhouette of Caitlin.

“Haha, sorry I didn’t really clean the place up, um, well it just started. Have you seen this before?” Caitlin asked awkwardly.

“It’s the one with the chauffer’s daughter right? Didn’t you watch this a few years back?”

“Yeah during Warped Tour, remember? I put it into your DVD player in your bus and well yeah, we all had popcorn and watched. Good times, good times.” She blankly looked out the windows.

“Oh yeah, yeah.” I sat down on the couch and made myself comfortable, arranging a few pillows. Caitlin shook her head quickly and sat down next to me. Caitlin placed the bowl of popcorn between us, it seemed as though it was a wall. I looked over to the coffee table. Piles and piles of Audrey Hepburn movies, I caught a glimpse of a few on the other pile, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Charade, My Fair Lady, and Roman Holiday.

She sensed I was looking at it, and looked up at me, ready to explain.

“Heh, sorry I was having an Audrey movie marathon, but I’ve seen my favorite ones so we don’t have to watch the others.

“But don’t you love Funny Face? Its not in the pile with the rest of your favorite ones, don’t you want to watch that?” I asked.

“It’s okay, tonight isn’t the last night I’ll live now is it?” She laughed off. Caitlin pressed the play button and the classical music played.

“It’s all in the family,” Humphrey Bogart said to Audrey, while they danced in the tennis court.

I chuckled with the lies he put into that sentence. I looked over at Caitlin, the connection her eyes had with the screen. She mouthed every line, down to its every pause. Clank clank clank. Her nails hit the bottom of the empty popcorn bowl.

“It’s true, you really do love her!” William Holden yelled out of the screen.

It is true William, I do love her. My head turned slightly to Caitlin.

I must’ve dosed off for a while. I turned to the side, Caitlin was still in the same position she was when I’d last seen her, this time her hand wasn’t stuck inside the bowl.

Jon was on the lazy boy snoring. When did he get here?

Caitlin would glance at Jon from time to time, probably giving him an evil stare.

“Haha” I chuckled at her.

She turned her head over to me and squinted her eyes.

“What?” She asked viciously.

“It’s just, you’re so in love with Hepburn.”

“Haha, well yeah, she’s amazing in every way.” Caitlin softened her tone.

Audrey and Humphrey hugged on the ferry, and the movie was closing to an end. I looked over and watched Caitlin carefully. Her devastated expression humored me.

I stood up and grabbed the DVD case for ‘Funny Face’. I handed it over to Caitlin. She laughed and looked up at me. Our faces met for more than ten seconds, we just stopped and the smiles left our faces.

I felt my lips slowly form into a slight pout and I could tell she was starting to close her eyes.

This was it. This was it.

We were about to let our lips meet.

Jon snorted and began to open his eyes. Caitlin quickly turned away.

Dammit.

“Hey dude!” Jon yelled at me.

I rushed to the couch and started to rearrange the pillows again. Caitlin looked at me and blushed.

Jon took his time getting off the lazy boy and sat where the popcorn bowl was. Caitlin leaned to Jon’s side.

My lids slowly closed as I stared at the ‘DVD Player’ sign bounced around the screen.

“Wake up you guys!” Caitlin shouted from the kitchen. I looked over at Jon and his face was covered in graffiti.

“HAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA dude! Your face!” I pointed at Jon. He rubbed his eyes, processing my comment. He opened his eyes and ran to the bathroom. He started to crack up.

He glided out of the bathroom. “Nice one Cay,” He laughed. “Oh my god! HAHHAHAH Brendon, loving the moustache!” He stuck out his finger at my chin.

I felt my chin with my hand and patches of hair seemed to be missing. I turned to Caitlin for an explanation. Caitlin shrugged off the fact and smiled.

I motioned to the bathroom and checked myself in the mirror. I had a zigzag moustache and a weird goatee. I smiled to myself. Time to shave it all off.

“Pete?” I looked at my buzzing phone. I took my phone off the bed and hollered at it “Yo, this is Brendononion”

“Uh, yeah, hey Brendon,”

“Sup?”

“You and Jon need to get back to Vegas, and reconcile your band.”

“What? We haven’t broken up…” This was all so sudden.

“Why does it feel like it then?” Pete snapped back. “Get back to Vegas pronto, you guys need to fix a lot of shit.”

Click.

Mother Fu…

The one chance I get to be with Caitlin I can’t.

“Bren! Come out your food’s getting cold” Caitlin leaned on the side of the door post.

“Oh um, right, I need to talk to Jon real quick” I dazed off.

“Okie…everything alright?” Caitlin asked in a worried tone.

“Everything is fine.”

I heard steps slowly growing closer and finally Jon’s figure appeared in front of me.

“Why’d you need to talk to me now? I was eating!” Jon complained.

“We have to leave.” I appallingly said.

“What?” Jon didn’t sound too happy. “Why? Who said?”

“Pete, he said that we need to reconcile the band, or some stupid shit like that, I’m so mad, Jon you know that…about Cailtin…”

“Brendon, we have no choice, Pete signed us, the least we could do is listen to him from time to time…”

“Yeah I suppose.” I agreed.

When the night hit the skies, I was ready, all packed up to go back home. My heart strained in desires of staying, but I had to…leave. Cay was out buying food, so I left a long letter on her bed, explaining my pathetic excuse.

Hey Cay!

Sorry for leaving so abruptly, Pete wanted us to work on a new album

since Ross, Jon and Spence had new ideas for the album. See you soon roomie!

Thanks for being awesome and an amazing chef. Call me as soon as you read

this!

Love, Brendon and Jon

Chapter 6: It Ends Tonight

Recap: “Hey Caitlin.”

Chapter 6: It Ends Tonight

Caitlin’s POV

“Hey, you okay? You sound uncomfortable,” I told her.

“Uh… yeah, I’m fine. Are you?” Alyssa said nervously.

“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked suspiciously, as I heard knocking at the door. “Hang on Lyss, there’s someone at the door…Who is it?” I called.

“It’s me! Brendon!” He yelled through the heavy door. I reached for the handle. “Hey so what did you need to tell me, Lyss?” I asked as I opened the door and Brendon came inside.

“My brother is cheating on you. For Keltie.”

‘Cheating on you’ and ‘for Keltie’ were the last things I would ever want to hear, and they sounded a million times worse put together. I could feel my face assuming a devastated expression. My phone fell from my hand, and my arm dropped to my side. I slowly paced towards my bed and felt the whole room collapse over my head.

“Hello! Hello?” Brendon said into my phone. I presumed that no one responded.

Brendon ran over and wiped the tears from my face. His eyes were distressed and confused. I couldn’t see him like this; I hated seeing him like this.

I touched his face gently. My thumb rubbed against his cheek. He looked surprised. I was surprised too. I didn’t know what had come over me.

I felt more and more tears fall steadily from my eyes. I got up and went over to the mini bar, from which I took out all the alcohol and started to gulp down all the contents inside one of the bottles. I placed my hand on the counter, putting my whole weight on it.

My view started to double. I didn’t feel right. I finally fell flat on my ass. Brendon tried to help me up, but I pushed him aside.

The bathroom lock clicked, and the door opened. A cloud of steam exited along with Sara, who was fully dressed and singing happily. I saw her expression change as she caught sight of me; her eyes opened wide.

“Caitlin! What happened? Why, why… why are you like this?!” she asked, her motherly tone kicking in as her voice jumped up a few octaves.

“Caitlin is fine as a mother freaking crap loogie. Hahahahahahhahahahha!” I took big gulp of the drink I held in my hand and went for another, but Brendon grabbed it out of my hand. “Hey! I was drigadinking thahat. Whahat ta heel!” I protested. I couldn’t say anything properly. It frustrated me.

I opened the fridge and took out four more miniature vodka bottles, then crawled into the bathroom, leaving Sara and Brendon speechless. Without a word from them, I shut the door and locked it, then slumped to the floor and leaned back against a wall. I put the vodka down beside me before proceeding to down all of it.

Sara’s POV

“Brendon, why didn’t you stop her? Why?!” I questioned him angrily.

“I was in shock! What the hell did you want me to do?” he shouted back.

“Well… I don’t know.” We helplessly stared at each other for a while. Then, at the same time, we both got up and started pounding on the bathroom door.

“CAITLIN! CAITLIN!” we yelled in unison. We heard nothing but sobbing.

We held back on breaking down the door. I was sure she needed some alone time.

“Caitlin!” Brendon called anxiously.

“Dude, let her be. I’m sure she’s going to be better later. I just hope she doesn’t kill herself.” I had a weird feeling about what I had just said, but I ignored it.

“Yeah,” Brendon agreed. He looked down. All I saw was sorrow in his eyes. Poor guy.

We sat down on one of the couches. Sigh. How did Caitlin get like this? I wanted to ask Brendon about what was going on. I looked at him. He sensed it and looked up at me from where he was curled up against the pillows. We stayed silent.

I got up and stared at the bathroom door. What was she doing in there?

“Sara?” Brendon said tentatively.

“Hey, you stay here, I’ll go look for someone to tell me what the hell is going on. Take care of her, and follow her wherever she goes,” I ordered.

“Okay. Tell me what you find out.” He was so distraught.

I ran out the door and to the elevator. I was sure Spencer knew something.

Caitlin’s POV

Ring.

“Hey, Cay.”

“Why, Ryan? Why?” I asked as tears rolled down my face. I was starting to sober up.

“What are you talking about?” Ryan asked, faking cluelessness.

“You know what the hell I am talking about.”

“Look…” he started.

“No. I gave you my whole heart. I don’t get it. What did I do? What did I do that was so wrong or so bad that I deserved this? Oh God, save me. How could you do this to me? You said you loved me. You said I was your everything, you said you would die to save me, you said, you said…” I couldn’t say anything anymore. “I can’t bebelieve you didid thi-is to me I cacan’t” I started to stutter. I felt like my throat was closing up and I couldn’t do anything about it. My saliva was choking me, in a sense.

“Sorry.”

“Is that all? Sorry? Sorry? SORRY?!!?” I yelled into the phone.

I threw my phone down on the marble floor. The water from Sara’s shower seeped into it and Ryan’s voice slowly died out.

I screamed so hard my throat hurt. I couldn’t take this. I felt like this was the end.

I stood up from the toilet. I stormed to the door and slammed it open. Then to the main door, to the hallway, to the door, to the stairs. I went up the stairs, all the way to the roof. When I got up there I couldn’t stay still. The wind was really strong. I was going to end it all, right now.

I ran closer to the edge when someone called, “Caitlin! NO!”

I looked behind me. It was Brendon.

“Go away, Brendon. Just go away!” I bent over then straightened up again as I tried to yell at him.

Sara’s POV

“Spencer! Spencer!” I hollered as I pounded on his door. He quickly opened it, and I ran inside. I sat on the couch in an upright position and started to tap my fingers on my leg as I looked over at Spencer. He was still at the door, surprised.

“Hey?” Spencer asked, addressing the question to both himself and me. He slowly walked away from the door and came towards the couch, then leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms.

“Tell me what happened to Caitlin!” I half-commanded, half-begged. “Why is she acting so depressed?”

“Fuck. Okay.” He sighed. “It’s because of Ryan.”

“I knew it. All he ever brought was trouble. I never had a good feeling about him; I always thought Brendon and Caitlin were perfect together. Anyways, continue.”

Pete’s POV

I wondered what everyone was doing. I hadn’t seen Ashlee anywhere. I decided to check up on Ross.

I jumped up from the bed and ran out of my room, grabbing the key before the door closed on me.

I ran past Ross’s room, then backtracked and heard two people talking. It sounded like… Sara and Spencer. I pressed my ear against the door and tried to eavesdrop.

“Wait. What do you mean Ryan slept with Keltie?!” Sara asked Spencer, like she couldn’t believe it.

I’d heard enough. I walked away from the door and took my phone out to call Caitlin. She didn’t pick up.

My heart started to pound faster and faster. I ran to her room and banged on the door. No one answered. Fuck.

Brendon’s POV

“NO! I don’t want you to commit suicide! I won’t let you commit suicide! No! Never! Not today not ever! You are going to stay with me until we die together! And if someone is dying tonight, it should be me, because I couldn’t stand living in this world without getting to be with you, ever!” I yelled back. Oh shit. Why did I just say that? She wasn’t supposed to know… Fuck.

After I said that, I quickly texted Pete to come to the roof. I looked back up at Caitlin and she kept taking subtle steps closer to the edge.

“But Brendon, I can’t take it! I can’t take any of this anymore. Why would he do this to me?”

“Because he’s an asshole! Stop! Stop walking. Now!” I felt a tap on my shoulder. I jumped up and turned. It was Pete. He signaled that he should take care of this so I left to go back to my room.

When I got to the floor, I saw Sara coming out of my room. She looked so shocked.

She told me what happened as we sat in front of our door, looking like hobos.

Pete’s POV

“Caitlin what are you doing? Get off from there!” I demanded.

“No! Pete, you don’t get how horrible I feel.”

“Maybe I do! Do you remember how you felt when I was about to kill myself? Well I feel like that right now, except a million times worse.” I ran to her.

I could hear her crying and breathing heavily. I grabbed her from the back. I hugged her so she couldn’t escape. She bent down and tried to squirm her way out but I didn’t let her.

“Pete! Let go of me! Let go! Do you want me to be happy?” She yelled at me, screaming with a miserable feel.

“I don’t want you to be happy.” I stated. I knew she was going to say ‘then let go of me’. I couldn’t let that happen to her. I had to lie.

“What?” She turned back and looked at me. She searched my eyes and had an ‘Are you serious’ look.

“Yeah, that’s right, I want me to be happy, so I won’t let you go, I can’t. If you go, well then I’m not going to be happy, and I can’t live with that. Who knows what’ll happen to me if you go.” I said obnoxiously.

“I can’t believe you would say that.” Tears kept slowly falling from her eyes. I grabbed her shoulder and hugged her tightly.

“You’re my baby sister Cay; I couldn’t live with myself if I let you go here. I’d rather die than to live with that guilt building up inside of me. I know I’ve been horrible to you a lot and I’m so sorry. But the truth is that no matter what you look like, where you’re from, or who your parents are, you will always be my little sister. I spent endless amounts of nights praying for a baby sister, and I’m not giving up on letting you leave me here all alone in this world. You’re my baby sister that I will always love and cherish forever, and besides, who’s going to deal with all my shit and still be there for me when I need them?” I smiled.

Caitlin let out a small grin.

“Come on, let’s go downstairs, and get you some agua.” I suggested.

“Okay” Caitlin barely let out.

When we arrived at her floor, I saw Brendon and Sara sitting outside their room. Brendon hurried up and hugged her tightly.

“I got it from here, go and rest, I think you deserve it.” Brendon ordered.

“Okay thanks man. Take great care of her, I’ll check up on you guys when I wake up” I said. I waved good bye and gave Caitlin a kiss on her forehead.

“Take care of yourself twinkie.” I told her.

I watched Brendon lead her inside the room. Sara stopped at the door and smiled politely at me, I smiled back with relief.

Brendon’s POV

What a relief.

Thank you Lord, so, so much.

I helped Caitlin get to her bed as she traced carefully to her bed. Sara took out some cold hand towels to wipe Caitlin’s face. How could Ryan do this to her? My baby.

Sara handed me the towel and I wiped Caitlin’s face. I smiled at her, as if nothing was wrong. Just to make her feel better.

“I love you.” I said under my breath.

“What?!” Sara asked surprised.

“Huh? Oh what?” I couldn’t believe what I have done. Luckily Caitlin was asleep.

“Did you just say…” Sara gave me a suspicious look.

“Say what?” I tried to act as innocent as possible.

“Nothing…never mind…” Sara gave an uncertain look. She put down the towels and started to wipe Caitlin’s face.

That was close. So close.

Chapter 5: Accidents

Recap: “Hey Ho!”

Chapter 5: Accidents

Spencer’s POV

“What Spencer!?!” Keltie bitched back at me.

“Okay first, lay off Ryan! I won’t let you make him hurt Caitlin this way.”

“Oh boo hoo! Ryan can do whatever he desires. Besides I’m a much better catch…”

“Baha! Better catch? Yeah um, slutty outfits and skanky dance moves don’t really sum up to a better catch!”

“Ugh…Well…Well… Ryan likes me better so whatever! He’s all mine, I just need to get rid of that…That… Kristin girl.” I could feel the large amounts of smoke raging out of her ears.

“Haha. What a come back! You really know how to use your words. By the way, its Cah-ate-lin! Not Kur-ris-tin! Dumb ass. Just because you don’t know her name doesn’t make you look cool, makes you look stupid. Anyways, her name is a million times of a better name than Keltie, what the fuck name is that?!”

“Fuck you, I’m hotter, more diverse, and better for Ryan, and he knows that, that’s why he’s coming to see me. I’m so going to…”

“Ew… no. Well whatever, because there is something you need to know.” I interrupted her.

“And what’s that?” Her voice sickened me, with the ditzy-ness.

“I just recorded this conversation. Bye!” I said enthusiastically. Sweet Victory, now I just need to figure out how to send this to Alyssa.

Ryan’s POV

My finger reached unsteadily for the doorbell. Ding dong, the bell rang. I could hear footsteps from inside thumping over to the door. It opened, revealing Keltie and the huge smile on her face.

“Hey Kel,” I greeted.

Keltie screamed and jumped up to hug me. I twirled her around, and she wrapped her legs around my hips. I put Keltie down. She kissed me and I kissed back. We couldn’t stop. We led each other inside and slammed the door behind us. Before we knew what was going on, Keltie started to strip my clothes off of me.

Alyssa’s POV

My phone rang. I looked at the caller I.D., then did a double take. It was Spencer. I pressed the button to answer.

“Hey Spence, what’s up?” I greeted.

“Alyssa! Where are you? I miss you like crazy!”

“Well…I’m in Vancouver right now getting an apartment,” I replied.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that… I can’t believe I left you there. You want me to fly over?” he offered.

“No it’s fine, Hey Spence… I really have to talk to you,” I told him regretfully.

“What is it?” he asked, his voice cracking.

“I don’t think our relationship is working. I mean we’re never together and it’s going to be really long time before we see each other again.” I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. But it was all true. It had been building up for a really long time.

“Hey wait what? Sorry I was talking to Jon,” he said, a little too fast. “Oh yeah I forgot to tell you why I called. It’s about your damn stupid ass brother! He went to California for Keltie! He even lied to Caitlin about it. Here I’ll send you a conversation I had with her. That boyfriend-stealing whore fu…”

“Spence…” I responded glumly.

“What?! Can you please just knock some sense into him? Thanks, I have to go. Love you. Bye.” Spencer hung up right away. Was he avoiding what I had said earlier?

I looked through my phone book until I reached Ryan’s number. I stopped and closed my phone. Maybe Later, just not now.

Spencer’s POV

Sigh.

God, what is wrong with me?

I was such a little baby. I couldn’t even take the consequences of being too busy?

It wasn’t like I could keep avoiding the truth: Everything’s falling apart.

I dropped my phone and collapsed on the couch, speechless. I wanted to be with Alyssa so, so much, but she didn’t want to be with me. What did I ever do? Fuck this. Stupid Ross clan. Both of them! Why do I have to deal with them and their shit?!

Ryan’s POV

My phone woke me up. Keltie’s head was on my chest. A smooth white blanket covered our exposed bodies. I squinted my eyes and rubbed my fingers against them. I groaned, I didn’t feel like talking.

I reached out my arm for my phone on the side table of the bed. I looked at the caller I.D. it was Alyssa.

“Heh…Hello?” I said as my voice cracked.

“Aww I’m so sorry, did I wake you? Wake you from your affair! You lying son of a bitch. You are the biggest asshole that walked this planet you know that? Why are you hurting Caitlin like this? You are so lucky Spencer didn’t tell her. I am so embarrassed, you are my brother. You disgust me.” She yelled loudly.

“What are you talking about?” I tried to sound innocent, but I pleaded guilty.

“Oh really, you don’t know? You really don’t know? Where are you? California, right? Who do you know in California? Let me give you a hint. Keltie. Ew. I think I just threw up in my mouth, don’t worry it’s normal, it happens whenever I say her name.”

“Fuck, don’t tell Cailtin. Okay?” Was that the best I could say?

“No, not okay.” Alyssa retorted.

“Aw come on! Please?” I knew I wasn’t convincing anyone with that.

“No. I am going to tear your life apart. I don’t care if you’re my brother. You’re an embarrassment. You ruin my best friend’s life, I ruin yours.” She threatened. “I am dead serious Ross.” She hung up.

I felt shivers go down my spine. Why did I think this was all going to work? That Caitlin wasn’t going to find out and everything was going to be okay?

I slowly got up from Patrick’s couch, man that was uncomfortable. I left him a note and quietly made my way out of his apartment.

What am I going to do?

Alyssa’s POV

Wow. Who knew that was in me?

I pressed on the number and put my phone up against my ear. It was ringing.

“Hello? Hey Ali! How is Vancouver? Dude, I miss you like crazy!” The voice greeted me.

“Hey Caitlin.

GUESS WHO I JUST TALKED TO!!!!!!!!!!

hey my pepoles. ahaha.
Well. i sent a message to Andy from This Providence a couple of days ago. and I knew that I wouldn't get a mail back. I DID!!!! I hyperventilated for like half an hour. before I could read the freaking message. my heart is still racing, and at the thought of it I still hyperventilated. wooohhh! that woke me up. came back from a party. can't believe i'm still completely sober. i think i have a high tolerance. ahhah anyways. i'm going to sleep soon. ciao.
xoxo
crystal

the message:
From Crystal

okay so i'm doing my homework right now. and i just came to give your "selling my drums" thing. i just have to ask, how do you do it? like i mean you are so extremely lucky. i am just barely making it through highschool, just to get to my dream of being a musician but i hold myself back now because i don't think i have a great chance. my band broke up last year because of our bassist left to australia. and like it was a realllllyyy hard thing,and there aren't much good enough bassists here, where i live in. the philippines. i'm korean-american though. but like i am so envious of you. haha. i don't really know the point of this message but yeah. just wanted to know that This Providence has really helped me stay focused on being a musician. For the longest time I have been wallowing in the whole band breaking up thing and when I heard you guys and stuff and like I mean you guys aren't like a Fall Out Boy, but I love that because you have fans that really love you guys because of your music and stuff. like true fans. *sigh*. i must carry on to my homework. but yeah. just want to thank you guys so so so so much.

with much love to you guys, and good luck on the new album.
crystal.

From Andy:

Hey Crystal.

What makes you think I won't reply? haha. Well, anyways. I'm sorry you're in that frustrated tough spot. Honestly I have been there. It is true that now I am getting do something that I've always dreamed ofg
About 2 1/2 years ago my old band broke up. I got really depressed. I hadn't played a show or with a band in 2 years when this providence asked me to join. They actually asked me twice. The first time I turned them down and told them "no." Then a year and a half later decided to say yes.

So don't give up. Don't give up your dreams, but sometimes you have to realize that they don't always look the same as you may think they would. Maybe you'll never be in a band that gets to be huge, and maybe you will. But maybe you'll be able to find joy in playing music where ever you get the chance.

Best of luck! Don't give up.

God bless,
.Andy.

Chapter 4: Sleepless Nights

Recap: Sincerely, Dion Bruce.

Chapter 4: Sleepless Nights

_______________________________________________________________________________________________â�¨

Caitlin’s POV

“Ross! Finally, where are you?” I yelled into my taped up phone.

“Oh..Hey.. I’m at the L.A. airport with Spencer and Jon.” Ryan replied.

“Um…Why?” I asked. I raised my eyebrows, trying to find a reason to this.

“Oh um … Well I’m actually here to plan a party for Brendon, I’m getting his present and yours! Just don’t tell him. Its really funny, I got him something that’ll make him go crazy.” Ryan chuckled.

“Oh…” I solemnly replied.

“Are you okay?” He tried to sound sincere.

“Well, have fun… I guess, love you...” I hung up on Ryan without another word. A huge sigh was let out of me. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t have told me earlier.

I slowly walked out of Pete’s hotel room and went back to mine. Sara was gone. She was probably at the buffet.

Boom! The doors slammed open as soon as I relaxed my muscles on the couch. Spencer started to look around the room. He looked under my bed and the drawers of the desk. I watched him slowly and carefully.

“Hey have you seen my room key? Ryan said he left it here for you, can I just borrow it for a second?” Spencer requested.

“Hi…” I was appalled. I haven’t seen him for a months and the first thing he says is that. “No hug? Well the keys in the small pocket of my bag”

“Sorry, I’m just really out of it.” He walked over and crouched down to hug me. After, he got the key and walked back to the couch and sat next to me. I then realized that Ryan said Spencer and Jon were with him. That lying ass. My heart felt like it was dropping.

“What are you doing here!” I yelled.

“Well thanks, I’ll just go…” He looked at me like I was a total bitch.

“No, sorry I didn’t mean it like that; its just Ryan said he was in L.A. with you!”

“No…I haven’t talked to him in days… I just came from Vancouver, I left Alyssa there.” He looked down on his shoes. I know he missed Alyssa. “We’re going to Vegas to meet up with my family.” He cheerfully said.

“Who’s we?” I asked looking straight into his eyes.

“Jon and I.” He soon got up and walked out. “I have to get settled in! I’ll talk to you later okay?” His voiced traced off.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Ryan’s number. It wasn’t ringing. Shit. Fuck! Why does this happen to me? I set my gaze to the window. The sun was beaming through the curtains. I checked for the time, it was only 9 in the morning. Ryan, you are so fucking dead. So dead. â�¨_______________________________________________________________________________________________â�¨

Ryan’s POV

How can I tell her? I wasn’t here because of Brendon or her. It was because of Keltie… Shit! Oh my God. I walked back and forth the hall of the airport. What am I doing?! I love Caitlin, I love her…Do I?

I slapped my self. Of course I love Caitlin. Caitlin saved me. Cay..Kel..Kel..Cay..Shit! Ryan get a hold of yourself! You love Caitlin. It’s final.

Shit…I don’t love her anymore. No! I do love her. I had to tell myself that.

I went outside and sniffed the dry, dusty air of California. I’ll just say hey, and leave. I mean I just want to see how she’s doing. I’m sure Caitlin will understand. Or I’ll just not tell her.

My pants vibrated from my phone. I check the caller id, it was Spencer. I held my phone and walked over to a bench and sat down. I slide my phone open and answered it. “Heh…Hello?”

“Finally! Fucking hell Ryan! Where the fuck are you!” Spencer yelled.

“Chill man, I’m in L.A. I’m going to catch a cab to see Kel.”

“What the hell man, Caitlin is worried sick!”

“Oh well, um don’t tell her I’m going to go see Kel.” I demanded.

“Dude, why are you even going to go see her! She’s a slut!” Spencer raged.

“Don’t talk about her like that!” I yelled back.

“Do you have feelings for her?” He asked.

“No…” The response took longer than it should have.

“Fuck. You do. Don’t do this to Caitlin, Don’t hurt her…”

“I don’t! Okay?”

“Yeah? You don’t? Then why are you in L.A. right now? Why did you go there for Keltie? Give me a good reason. Worst of all Ryan you lied to Caitlin about it. You put me and Jon to take the blame while you were gone! You used to tell her everything. You even told me that she saved you from going insane after your Dad’s death, and everything went down hill for you at that time. What is going on with you? Keltie changed you and you don’t even know it…” I hung up before I could hear another word from Spencer.

I didn’t want to deal with this now. No. Hell no. I can’t do this now.

When I finally caught a cab, I gave the driver the paper with the address on it. I sat there in deep thought. He was right. Spence was right. I did like Keltie.

Desperado started to play on the radio. I started to really listen to lyrics and it applied a lot to my situation. The song was more or less exactly the way everything was going now.â�¨

_______________________________________________________________________________________________â�¨

Spencer’s POVâ�¨

“Hey ho!” I smirked.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Hey guys. Sorry this is really short, but I promise you a longer better one. These two recent chapters are pretty boring. And this chapter I didn't really give all my efforts. Hope you guys like it though. Tell your friends.
xoxo
Crystal

Two poems

Okay I have you know this was for my English concrete poem assignment and well I wrote it really fast but I wanted to show you guys because I thought it was pretty good. and to mup. i don't feel like putting it into concrete poem format. that's why its called POEM only.

Poem #1
His daring eyes
Pale hands that hold mine
Tears depart from my eyes
He wipes them off gently
He holds me closely by his side
I feel safe once again
He seeks revenge.

Poem #2
Punches flew
Foul words are thrown
The defiant stares
the bleakness he carries
white shirts are stained
and one gunshot is blown
and no one left
just an empty lot
one dim light
I am safe in my dreams...

Chapter 3 : Adopted

Recap: â�œA cold hand gently caressed my faceâ�

Chapter 3 : ACA

____________________________________________________________________________________
Peteâ�™s POV

I felt myself heavily gasping for air. I leaned against the slammed hotel door. I looked around the hall. On my left a maid looked at me, eyes wide open with an unsure look.
â�œYou okay sir?â� the maid asked.
â�œOh Iâ�™m fine, comple-pletely fine, absolutely fine, fine, fine, fine. Iâ�™m always fine, thatâ�™s my problem. Because I am always fine-nety-fine fine.â� I let out a huge grin. The maid kept silent. I could understand why she wouldnâ�™t want to have said anything at all. â�œWhatâ�™s with your look! Why donâ�™t I look fine? Why donâ�™t I seem fine to you?! I am fine! Why are you giving me that look! Tell me!â� My sudden outburst of something words canâ�™t describe startled her. I didnâ�™t really mean to. I was just shocked. I couldnâ�™t believe what I had just done.
â�œSir, I think you should go get some rest, your face is extremely paleâ� She replied.
â�œUhh, sure, Imma go take a chill pill in a sec, damn, this hotel is tiiitteeeee,â� I donâ�™t know why my lingo turned all ghett-tttoooo and shit. â�œHey what up home slice!â� I said to a man passing by. What the fuck was I doing?
â�œCrystal? Crystal was that you? Anyone here?â� I faintly heard Sarah through the door.
â�œShit!â� I ran passed the maidâ�™s cart to the elevator. I hammered my finger on the elevator button. Ugh, come on! The doors opened wide and I pulled my body inside the silver box. I quickly pushed the button that was labeled â�˜>|<â�™.
I sighed in relief. What a horrible way to start the day. What the hell is wrong with me? Why is it only me who does all of these pathetic things. I thought I was over her. Sheâ�™s so over me, I could tell. Crapping hell. I pressed for the number of my floor. And that, was hopefully the end of that.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Sarahâ�™s POV

â�œCrystal?â� Who could that have been? The aircon wasnâ�™t on so it couldnâ�™t have been that. I swear it was someone. I walked around the room to try to find a clue to who it could have been. I went to the door and checked. The door had been locked.
I opened the door and looked outside. The only thing visible was the housekeeping cart. The hall was completely empty otherwise.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Crystalâ�™s POV

I looked up at the ceiling. I imagined things, like Ryan, and Ryan, and some more Ryan. Iâ�™m such a freak. I was startled to hear the fax machine making some weird noises.
A document was slowly being printed out. I got up and walked towards it. I reached for the paper and saw my name on the side. I looked at it closely to read the content whenâ�¦slam!
Pete came in. He was sweating. I lowered the temperature on the AC control.
â�œDamn itâ�™s hot in here.â� He got a towel from the bathroom and came out. I still looked up in his direction. What the hell has he been doing? He wiped himself with the towel and threw it into the bathroom.
â�œWhat are you doing in front of the fax machine?â� Pete barely said.
â�œOh thereâ�™s something from theâ�¦ACAâ� I read.
â�œShit, thatâ�™s not for you! Put it downâ�¦â� Pete ordered.
â�œBut it has my name on it! Whatâ�™s the ACA?â� I put down the paper so it could properly print out. Pete slowly walked over. He looked exhausted. What the hell did he do?
â�œJust go back to your room or something. I am exhausted.â� He gestured me to go away with his hand. I let out a gosh! face and walked over to the bed.
I played on my DS and soon found myself getting tired. My eyes started to close. As I dropped my DS on the floor, my whole body relaxed and remained like that.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Peteâ�™s POV

Shit. That was so close. I watched Crystal fall asleep and made sure no one else was in the room. I walked over to fax machine and held up the fragile fax paper. I closely read the fine print.

To: Ms. Crystal Wentz

Dear Ms. Wentz,

I am happy to report we have found your biological family. They are currently residing in Rome, Georgia. You have a sister and she works in France as a hotel manager. Your original surname is Sang. When you were born, the nurses couldnâ�™t tell you apart from another Asian newborn, who was not present in her basket. Unfortunately, the child that was switched with you died after two months. Her mother was only a teen and she could not have supported you, so she set you out for adoption. Please contact me or the ACA for any other details you would like to know about the incident or contact numbers.

Sincerely,

Dion Bruce

DION BRUCE

What bitches. I felt my whole body shiver as my eyes turned pink. I looked over to the bed Crystal was at. Poor thing. I was speechless. I finally knew what the word regret meant. I gave her all this shit about her being different as we grew up. How could I have been so immature? I couldnâ�™t tell Crystal. It would tear her apart.
I accidentally dropped the papers. I looked down as the papers slowly gracefully fell on the beige carpet. I put my hand on my forehead. I felt faint.
The doors suddenly creaked. It was Ashlee. What the hell was I doing with her? Sarah and Crystal were right. Iâ�™m a complete fool to have thought she was the one. Strangely enough, I couldnâ�™t imagine myself letting her go. She was just an accessory to me.
â�œHey babe,â� Ashlee greeted as she put her key back into her pocket.
â�œUhâ�¦hey I guess. Donâ�™t be too loud. You might wake Crystal up.â�
â�œOkayâ�¦ Oohh what are those?â� Ashlee looked on the floor and reached for the letter. Before she held them, I caught her arm and grabbed it tightly.
â�œDo not fucking think about looking at them.â� I pushed her aside and let go of her arm.
â�œWhat. The. Fuck Pete! Ugh!â� She ran out.
â�œWait Ashlee!â� I tried to persuade. Whatever, Iâ�™ll find her at a plastic surgeonâ�™s office later. Wow, that was a huge burn.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Sorry this is a pretty boring chapter. I just felt compelled to just it here because if I continued on, there would be no end so yeah.
Hope you like it.
Ciao
Oh and atleast 10 comments from different people for me to continue. (sorry but I just donâ�™t have any motivation as a writer to write more if no one is really going to read it anymore).
And stole the last part from Maddi. Haha love ya!
p.s. comments on how I can improve would be much appreciated. oh and don't worry about drama. ask anticaution, there is a lot of drama coming up.

Taylor de la Croix

Who got Taylor de la Croixâ�™s part?
congratulationsâ�¦..EMILY!!! also known as Screamingphotoop

Hey Iâ�™m going to need your email address, so please. Hehe okay
Wait for more casting calls. Iâ�™m going to definitely have more but for now itâ�™s just this.
ciaoo

Chapter 2 : Wonderland

Chapter 2:Wonderland

Sarahâ�™s POV

â�œOh just sittingâ�¦ you?â� Pete replied.

â�œUh sameâ�¦actually waiting for Crystalâ�¦â�

â�œWell this is prettyâ�¦ uhâ�¦ awkward.â� I saw him look around.

â�œYeahâ�¦well,â�

â�œYou know whatever happened in the past is the pastâ�¦â� Pete forced out and interrupted.

â�œWell we never finished the â�˜talkâ�™ we had and it was me, who had to go through all the crapâ�¦â�

â�œFaha-wha-what are you talking about? What pain? You cheated on me!â�

â�œWell not reallyâ�¦ I mean it didnâ�™t really mean anythingâ�¦â�

â�œMean nothing?! You slept with Gerard, Sarah!â�

â�œNo I didnâ�™t! He slept on the couch and I slept on the bed! Why canâ�™t you believe that?!â�

â�œSure you did. Everyone knows you guys went to a hotel after the party! Besides Sarah, I loved you! Love! Not like! Not an attraction! We didnâ�™t have a fling or a 24-hour â�˜I love youâ�™ scene. It was love and you had to ruin it!â�

â�œRuin it! What are you trying to say? Fine itâ�™s ALL my fault. Blame Sarah now will you.â�

â�œIâ�™m just saying you shouldâ�™ve been careful!â�

â�œI was trying my best! Itâ�™s not like I wasnâ�™t. How can you help from stopping yourself to do stuff

when your drunk? Please tell me because Iâ�™ve obviously missed that portion out when studying about alcohol!â�

â�œWell wow, you did a very good job at that didnâ�™t you huh?â�

â�œShut up Pete. Youâ�™re no better. You hurt me so much. The day I tell you, you break up with me. You leave and the following hour youâ�™re on E! Entertainment news announcing youâ�™re going out with Ashlee Simpson. Now isnâ�™t that just sympathetic? So donâ�™t tell me I hurt you, because you did too.â� Tears burst out of my eyes. I felt so helpless. So distressed. I hated recollecting this scene. This horrible truth I call a part of my memory. I looked up at the moon. Trying to distract myself with better things in life.

â�œI donâ�™t understand you Sarah. You were practically asking for it!â�

â�œShut up. You can go to hell and whatever. Think whatever you want to think because the truth will remain the truth until you want to admit my pain, I wonâ�™t admit yours.â� I didnâ�™t look down once after looking up at the moon. It was so peaceful and so still but here I am fighting with Pete with my eyes puffy from all the tears that have left my eyes. I ran off to the entrance of the park.

â�œOh my gosh! Are you okay? What happened.â� I bumped into Crystal.

â�œOh itsâ�¦nothingâ�¦sorry Iâ�™m just going to go to at the living rooâ�¦ I mean to the room.â�

â�œOkay hang on. Iâ�™ll be just back.â� Crystal ran into the park. I sat down. My knees up against my chest, my arms on my knees and my head on my arms, and I fell.

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Peteâ�™s POV

What the hell is wrong with her? Why canâ�™t she handle the truth like any normal person? Oh and Crystal, she is being so ridiculous. So what if I date Ashlee? Why would she care? All this make me soâ�¦ I suddenly felt a warm hand slap my face. What theâ�¦

â�œWhat the hell is wrong with you? I mean you really know how to make someone feel like shit donâ�™t you? Or are you just born with that ability? What the hell happened?â� Crystal yelled. I felt hopeless. When I looked at Crystal, she had her hand rolled up into fists and she looked ridiculous with all the food she had stuffed into her pockets. â�œCan you just goâ�¦away? Iâ�™ve had enough ofâ�¦â� Crystal didnâ�™t let me finish what I had to say.

â�œGo away?! Go away?! Iâ�™ll go away as soon as you tell me what the fuck you did to my best friend!â�

â�œJust go!â� I shouted as I pushed her aggressively so she would fall on the floor.

â�œYou know Peteâ�¦ Keep living like that. Soon youâ�™ll lose everybody, including me. Asshole.â� Crystal whispered. She got up and quickly walked away into the darkness. Ugh.
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Sarahâ�™s POV

â�œHey Sarah?â� Crystal called.

â�œHuh? Oh. Uh. Yeah. Sorry.â� I lifted my head and slowly got up.
â�œDude, donâ�™t mind him. Heâ�™s being an ass like he is. Iâ�™ll say sorry instead of him.â�

â�œHeh, thanks.â�

â�œCome on, letâ�™s go to the room. Weâ�™ll get out the booze! And later we can go out and scream our hearts out.â�

â�œYeah, but I donâ�™t really want to drink.â�

â�œNeither do I, but letâ�™s just numb-en this pain right now. Just today, so you can get sleep tonight.â�

A few hours had passed and we were so out of it. We had only had a couple of shots, and we werenâ�™t drunk, but all the stress made it feel like we were.

The next morning, I heard giggles and laughs from a couple of people. I forced myself to open my eyes. I felt so gross, crusts of morning stars gathered around my eyes which made it hard for me to open my eyes. To my surprise I saw Crystal, Ryan, and Brendon all gathered on a couch looking at a small portable DVD player.

â�œOh youâ�™re awake, hurry up and get ready, weâ�™re going to wonderland remember?â� Crystal said.

â�œOh yeahâ�¦Crap, what do I wear?â�

â�œWear your bikini under your outfit, oh and no make-up. You donâ�™t want to get it smudged.â� She reminded.

â�œYeah, okay.â� I quickly grabbed my things, ran to the bathroom and got ready. When I came out, Brendon was playing on his guitar with Crystal singing along and Ryan on the couch resting. They looked so cute. Brendon is so much better for Crystal than Ryan. Ryanâ�¦Ew.

When we all got into the van, Pete was checking who was here. He looked so dorky pointing around counting. It wasnâ�™t that hard to count in his head. He suddenly looked at me, and at the same time, I looked at him. Gah. He stopped for a second. Nothing was more awkward.

â�œOkay, Spence is in Vancouver with Ash, heâ�™s coming tonight. Ash is getting an apartment in Vancouver so itâ�™ll take her some time. Karl and Nash went back home, and Jonâ�™s with his girlfriend soâ�¦I guess itâ�™s just us.

The van had 2 rows behind the driverâ�™s area. Pete and Ashleigh were in the front and the rest of us were at the back. Die, die, die! Watching Ashlee throw herself all over Pete was disgusting. I didnâ�™t like Pete but to think that he dumped me forâ�¦that piece of shit was just nasty!

â�œSaaarraahhhh!â� Brendon whined.

â�œHuh?â�

â�œCan we watch 40-year old virgin? Iâ�™m so bored. I mean look at Crystal and Ryanâ�¦ Theyâ�™re being allâ�¦ â�˜lubby dubbyâ�™. I have nothing to do.â�

â�œOh yeah sure.â� I agreed. Brendon took out the portable DVD player, put the disc in and pressed the button that looked like â�˜}â�™. Brendon skipped a couple of chapters so we could watch the funny scenes. Brendonâ�™s laugh was so cute.

Ashlee and Peteâ�™s laugh all combined was destruction. I kept getting distracted with all the intimate stuff they were doing. Gosh, get a damn room.

â�œOh my God! I brought my CD! Letâ�™s listen to it.â� Ashlee said eagerly.

â�œNo! No! No! No! No!â� Crystal yelled. She leaned more to the front. Her arms were crossed and on the front rowâ�™s seat. â�œPete! No! Two versus four! I think we win!â� Crystal reached into her bag and took out the Boys Like Girls CD. â�œHere, put this in, Boys Like Girls is so much better than some I Am Me entitled album. How vain are you Ashlee?â� Crystal hit Peteâ�™s head with the CD case. Pete just remained silent.

â�œHow am I vain?â� Ashlee retorted, she had turned around and glared at Crystal.

â�œHow are you vain? Pshâ�¦ youâ�™re retarded if you donâ�™t even know that. Seriously. Why would anyone want to listen to your album? You think youâ�™re so great at singing. Well youâ�™re not!â�

â�œEhâ�¦Well I donâ�™t know Boys Like Girls!â�

â�œBoo frikin hoo!â� Crystal mocked. â�œTrack two.â� Crystal demanded. Soon the music started playing and Ryan, Crystal, Brendon, and I were singing along to â�˜5 Minutes to Midnightâ�™. I could tell Ashlee was being a spoiled brat, pissed off because she heard the truth. Pete was comforting her, but I know he likes Boys Like Girls so much more.

â�œMr. Wentz, we are here.â� The driver announced. Crystal and I screamed. We jumped over the row of seats to get out. Ashlee started to whine because we messed her hair up. As we ran towards the entrance, Crystal screamed.

â�œDude! Tomb Raider! The Fly! The Batâ�¦â�

â�œYeah man! Oh and donâ�™t forget water rides and the Psyclone!â� I turned and saw Ryan and Brendon lagging behind us.

â�œHey wait up!â� Brendon yelled. When we had gotten on the Tomb Raider we started to smile. So many memories compiled into one big flash. As we twirled up and was ready to head towards the pretty intimidating steep slope, we all screamed.

When we had ridden the Tomb Raider, it was 10 a.m., now it was 9 p.m. We had all the rides in the amusement park for at least 8 times. It was awesome that we got the amusement park all to ourselves.

We were exhausted as we leaned our backs on the hotel door. We let out a huge sigh and dragged our fatigued bodies towards our bed. Crystal collapsed right on the bed and fell asleep right there. I got her pjâ�™s and put them on her. It was hard; she kept falling every time I put her up. I soon did the same, I put on my pjâ�™s but I read AP for awhile and fell asleep.

A cold hand gently caressed my face. I quickly opened my eyes. A huge slam at the door was the only thing I was sure that I heard. I got up and started looking around the room and no one was there.

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p.s. sorry its short but thats how far I think I should go until the third chapter. Oh and I didn't edit a lot of the paragraphs after I wrote them last year. So my grammar and writing style is really...retarted. Hope you like it :D